Recently I watched Sarah, an older woman with Parkinson’s, climb onto a stage to read her poetry. “I’ll do my best to read,” she said softly and smiled at the audience. “In spite of the shaking.” Suddenly I realized I was witnessing what it means to be courageously vulnerable.

It sounds like an oxymoron, doesn’t it? I mean, how is it possible to be courageous and vulnerable at the same time? But from what I’ve learned in my own creative life, both are essential for anyone who, like Sarah, dares greatly enough to wear their art on their sleeve. 

One night during our writer’s group meeting, my friend, Joy, noticed that I was not my normal happy self. At that point I was two years into writing a gut-wrenching memoir, and questioning my decision to put it all down on paper. “Martin, that painful stuff you’re writing about? That’s the good stuff,” she said. “That’s what we want to read.”

If you are starting a business, writing a book, or engaging in any other creative endeavor that you’re passionate about, you understand courage. But if you intend to release your vision into the world, you need to get comfortable with vulnerability. And the best place to begin is with the dictionary.com definition for vulnerable:  

“capable of or susceptible to being wounded or hurt”

It may be only four words, but I believe there’s a world of difference between “capable of” and “susceptible to.” Two are the energy of abundance, and the other two are the energy of fear. And for me, they’re the difference between releasing your vision into the world and allowing it to fade away. 

So I have two questions for you:

What are you susceptible to?

What are you capable of?

When the list of answers for your capability is longer than the list for your susceptibility, you’re on the path to sharing your passion and gifts with the world. 

So while Sarah uses courageous vulnerability to change the world with her poetry, I’m curious how you will use yours to change the world?

I can’t wait to find out.

Consider these words from Patanjali: “When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all your thoughts break their bonds. Your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction, and you find yourself in a new, great and wonderful world. Dormant forces, faculties and talents become alive, and you discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you ever dreamed yourself to be.”

I believe each one of us has the unlimited potential to find and live our great purpose. And even though I understand the fear factor, I still get frustrated whenever I talk to people who are living scripted, paint-by-number lives that are comfortable, but courage-free.

Too often we choose paycheck and position over passion and purpose. We convince ourselves that we’re safe in the job, without considering the fact that we are only safe until the boss decides that we’re not. And then one day we’re escorted from our cubicle with ten years of work memories in a cardboard box.

The good news is that you can make a different choice right now. You can choose work that feeds your soul and makes a difference in the world, and arrive at the the intersection Aristotle referred to when he spoke of “the place where your talents and the needs of the world cross.” 

Begin by taking an inventory of your unique gifts and consider how best to use them to move the world forward. Ask yourself, “What is my purpose for being on this planet?” Then wait for the answer. And when it arrives, lace up your shoes and get on with it.

You, and our world, will reap the benefits.

dallasisnotatvshow:

Dallas Noir

"You’re kidding, right?"

"No, Martin. It’s definitely shingles."

I was incredulous. “Are you sure it’s not spider bites?”

"You are aware that I graduated from medical school, aren’t you?"

"Yeah, but I don’t understand. I’ve always been really healthy. How could this happen?"

Dr. Blay stared at his stethoscope and then back at me. “Shingles is triggered by stress. Do you have any stress in your life?”

"Well, nine months ago I left my job, sold my house and moved out of Baltimore without a backup plan. And now I’m writing a book about the mistakes I’ve made in my life. Is that stressful enough to get shingles?"

Dr. Blay smiled. “Yep, that’ll do it!”

* * * * 

In May of 2010 I had a four-level townhouse, a tolerable job that paid the bills, and the opportunity to do what I loved most: flying airplanes. The problem was that none of the material stuff was enough to silence my Soul’s search for meaning. So I got rid of my obligations and left town with my dog and a laptop.

Five months into my midlife awakening I realized that I couldn’t live the life I wanted to live until I’d dealt with the life I had. And it occurred to me that the best way to do deal with it was to write my life story, from my earliest memories through the day I left Baltimore for good.

While it sounded good in theory, it was excruciatingly painful in practice. Every morning I would stare at my computer screen until the words began to fall out, and then I wrote until I’d reached my pain threshold for the day. Three months and one case of shingles later, the first draft of my life was complete. 

With additional drafts I found the forgiveness necessary to heal from my self-inflicted judgements and past recriminations. What I once viewed as personal and professional disasters, I now saw as examples of my resiliency in times of crisis. And most importantly, my life story became a catalyst for my life’s work.   

One of my greatest takeaways from this experience has been the realization that it takes unforeseen courage to risk everything on a purpose for your life that nobody sees but you. But I also believe that each one of us has the innate courage we need for the journey.   

So if your Soul’s call-to-purpose is waging a battle with your brain’s call-to-fear, and you’re ready to side with your Soul, get out some paper or boot up your computer. Write the first draft of your life and take a giant step on the path to your reason for being in the world.

The pitch-black sky matched my mood as I stepped out the back door of the hotel to stare at the ocean. This trip to Cotonou had been a last-ditch effort to make sense of my life. But after being swindled out of my last ten thousand dollars, the only good thing about being in West Africa was the fact that I’d somehow managed to avoid the rainy season.   

I couldn’t believe that my life had veered so far off course. Two years earlier I was a signed contract away from realizing my dream of becoming a successful international businessman. And now I was out of money and five thousand miles from home. I felt achingly alone. 

Lost in a wave of severed dreams, I looked up at the sky and muttered the only God-words I could muster at the time:    

"Why am I here?"

And when the Divine failed to intervene with an answer, I figured that even God had deserted me. So I headed back to my hotel room for another night of ceiling-staring. 

For two decades I asked myself that same question whenever my dreams went south. And just like on that night in Cotonou, there were no immediate flashes of insight, just a seemingly open-ended question in search of a solution. 

But what I realize now is that asking the question is often more important than receiving an immediate answer. Because it opens us up to the possibility that our lives are meant to be more than our present-moment reality; and that with each ask we get closer to the answer that resonates with our soul’s call-to-purpose.

If you believe that you were meant to do more with your life, ask yourself the question. And if all you hear is crickets, understand that the answer may not come in “your time,” but it will come at the right time, so keep asking. Because it’s true what the Buddha said, “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.”

That being said, let me start the ball rolling:

Why are you here?

In the midst of the busy, and sometimes unconscious, lives that we carve out for ourselves, it’s easy to forget our Soul’s longing to exchange busyness for purpose. 

In a world where the forces of average are grounded in generations of sameness, it’s not easy to choose heart over herd, and the journey can often feel like a solitary one. 

But with experience, we understand that our greatest triumphs are forged in the fires of our greatest struggles. And in pursuing our reason for being in the world, we are never really alone.

Soul says:

"I’ve been with you for the journey."

"I was there when you fell."

"I was there when he told you it was over."

"I was there when the doctor gave you the bad news."

"I was there when you told me you couldn’t take it anymore."

"But I was with you when you came into this world. And I know why you’re here."

"I know your talents and gifts."

"And most importantly, I know you can do this!"

"It will take every bit of courage you have!"

"And there will be times when you want to give up, when it seems like you cannot take another step."

"But you are stronger than you know, so keep stepping!"   

"Because I will never give up on you!"

The good news is that for as long as we have breath, we have the opportunity to find and live our purpose for being in the world.”

So take a breath, and take a chance.”

Last week my friend Susan stopped me in the gym to introduce me to Michelle, a woman who was three months and twenty-five pounds away from realizing her dream of becoming a police officer. (Now I could pontificate on the ridiculousness of a healthy 5’6” woman being told that she had to go from 150 pounds to 125 pounds in three months because some training academy official was in love with his/her arbitrary height-weight charts, but that’s a blog post for another day).

Susan said that she was concerned about the fact that Michelle had hit a plateau in her training and that as a result she’d become really negative about her prospects for being accepted into the academy. And as a former bodybuilder, she asked if I had any suggestions that could help her to lose the weight. 

Michelle teared up as she told me that becoming a police officer was her dream job. And that she was afraid that she would fail to lose the weight, get kicked out of the academy and end up with nothing. And at that point it was clear to Susan and me that weight was definitely not her biggest challenge.

So we spent some time working to get Michelle to a place where she could begin to believe in herself again. And at one point I even drove home to get a book that I knew would inspire her. Then when I ran into Susan at the gym a week later, she happily reported that Michelle was back on track and headed toward her goal of reporting to the academy at the required weight. 

On the way home from the gym that day I thought about how important Susan was to Michelle’s success. And it occurred to me that we’re constantly surrounded by angels like Susan who are ready, at a moment’s notice, to wade into the muck of our fears and worries and pull us out onto the dry land of our hopes and dreams. Sometimes they’re folks we already know. And at other times they’re strangers who wander into our lives for a moment or two and offer a kind word or a positive idea that propels us forward. 

So how can you spot your angels? 

They’re the folks that say, “I believe in you” when you don’t believe in yourself. They’re the people that say, “You can do it” when you don’t believe that you can. And they’re the ones who say, “Let me show you how I did it” when you’ve lost your way and need a way out.

It seems like we spend so much of our precious time wading through life’s minutia, that we tend to forget about what it means to really live. And unfortunately for most of us, clarity only comes when we’re surrounded by our friends and family for one last breath as we depart this world for the next.

It was Blaise Pascal who said that “All man’s miseries derive from not being able to sit quietly in a room alone.” And yet even with this in mind, we still choose to avoid any opportunity to be alone with our inner voice, the voice that has traveled this journey with us and whose sole purpose is to move us in the direction of creating and living our Best Lives.

It’s a voice that we too often choose to ignore, either because we’re afraid to wander outside of the box…or because we’ve allowed ourselves to succumb to the tribal voices around us that work hard to ensure that we “tow the line.” 

But I want you to know that regardless of where you are in your life at this moment, it’s never too late to dream. It’s never too late to say to yourself, “I’m gonna begin again. And this time I will follow my heart.”

So I’d like to offer a simple suggestion: Take ten minutes a day to dream. Give yourself permission to be alone with your inner voice and allow it to move you along the path you were meant to travel when you first arrived in the world. Discover and embrace your unique talents and gifts and your reason for being. And in the process, begin to exchange your minutia for miracles. 

Like an artist that begins each painting with broad strokes on a canvass, your inner voice is ready to paint the broad strokes of a life that’s possible when you give yourself permission to listen. And just as the artist completes her masterpiece by adding the fine details, your life will become a masterpiece when you add the fine details of Love, Joy, Gratitude and Kindness to the dream of a life that’s infused with passion and purpose.  

So as we move into a new week, I have one question for you:

Are you ready to dream?

I woke up this morning before sunrise and I lit a candle for inspiration. And I was immediately reminded of my belief that we’re all born into the world with an inextinguishable light inside of us that is there to guide us on our journey through life. 

For most of us, our light seems to burn brightest in our early years, when our main purpose in life is to explore and enjoy the world around us. And when we find ourselves surrounded by unconditional love and endless opportunities for adventure.

But then as we begin to assume the expectations of family, friends and the outside world, with their opinions as to how we should best live our lives, our light can begin to flicker. And if we’re not careful, we’ll ignore it until we lose sight of it altogether. 

My friend Sarah is a personal trainer at the gym where I work out. And she’s got a story that’s really inspirational. Like a lot of folks, she lived through a bad marriage and suffered with verbal abuse. And as she explained to me one time, she gained a lot of weight because her self-esteem took a nosedive.

But the lesson in Sarah’s story is that through all of the mental and emotional pain, her light never left her. And that when she needed it the most, it still burned brightly enough for her to see it and to make the changes that were necessary to find her purpose for being in the world.  

The good news for Sarah, and for all of us, is that our light never leaves us. There’ll be times when it flickers and even dims. But if we have the courage to love ourselves, we’ll find that our light is every bit as bright now as it was when we first came into the world. And we can choose to follow it along the path to our purpose.

Always remember that regardless of where you are in your life right now, you can reclaim your light and live your Best Life.



Carpe Diem!

In the race for a meaningful life, we often find ourselves stuck in a chasm between “our time” and “the right time.” And regardless of our efforts, no amount of self-inflicted pressure is gonna magically transform desire into destiny. 

Purpose calls to us from a thousand miles away. And while we may hear it early on, the voice is usually faint. And almost always ignored. But if we commit ourselves to forward movement…and we keep the faith…all will come into focus…at a time and in a place…where all will make sense.

The chasm between “my time” and “the right time” began to close on June 5, 2002, when I discovered the one thing that inspires me above all other things. And in my nine-year journey from “passion discovered” to “purpose revealed” I have come to appreciate and value the difference between “our time” and “the right time.” And my path to a meaningful life has become more clear.

The path to our purpose is lined with the stones of our greatest passion. And each step along the path…every moment spent pursuing our greatest inspiration…brings us one step closer to fulfilling our purpose for being in the world.

So this morning the one thing I’m most curious about is this:

Where are you on the path from passion to purpose?