Mom Lesson #1: It’s Never Too Late to Reinvent Yourself

I was 46 when I called Mom to tell her I wanted to pursue my purpose in life. At the time, I had a beautiful townhouse in Baltimore and a well-paying job that required me to work, on average, no more than twenty hours a week. More importantly, I spent a lot of my free...

When All You Have is Belief

In his wonderful book of meditations entitled, “The Book of Awakening,” Mark Nepo quotes poet Kurtis Lamkin: “Believing is all a child does for a living” I’ve been thinking about that quote for the past couple of days as I move my life in a new direction. And it...

Soul-Food, Italian Style

I’m sitting at a table at one of my favorite Italian restaurants. Mary’s my waitress. At the end of the meal she brings me the check and we engage in some small talk about her major and what she wants to do after college. I sense the lack of enthusiasm in both her...

What To Do When Your Universe Collapses

It seems natural to want to go back to the person you were after you’ve lived through a tragedy. After all, that’s a comfortable choice. It feels safe. But it’s unrealistic. Because we can never go back to who we were after our Universe collapses. The alignment of who...

Against a Wall

When Mom left this world not long ago, the emotional upheaval and profound sense of loss and loneliness was something I had never experienced before. Five months later, I still find myself expecting her to round the corner or ask me to check out one of her new...

Finding the Light In a Sea of Sadness

I spent fifteen years in a self induced relational coma, convinced that a former lover’s painful words were my truth, rather than her reality. That’s roughly 5500 days of consciously avoiding intimacy with women. And even though it would be easy to view those days as...

What’s Your Answer to Life’s Most Important Question?

Lately I’ve been thinking alot about the two primordial emotions of life, Love and Pain, and all of the sub-emotions that arise from them. And what’s interesting to me is that, even though love is our nature and pain is learned, we tend to live in pain and long for...

Why Are You Here?

The pitch-black sky matched my mood as I stepped out the back door of the hotel to stare at the ocean. This trip to Cotonou had been a last-ditch effort to make sense of my life. But after being swindled out of my last ten thousand dollars, the only good thing about...

Masahide’s Barn and the Meaning of Life

After watching his barn burn to the ground, 17th Century samurai and poet Mizuta Masahide wrote the following haiku: “Barn’s burnt down now I can see the moon” Masahide’s quote came to me, as most God-winks do, at a time when I was struggling to see the half-full...

How to Raise Your Average

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” – Jim Rohn Every morning at the gym I run into Dan, a young, hard-working guy with a lot of potential and the desire to pursue his dream of becoming a fishing guide. But like most of us, he...