I don’t sleep much these days. My calling won’t let me. Inspired to do more with my time on earth, and infused with a keen sense of life’s finite nature…I move forward in the world with a renewed belief in the power that we all have to make a difference in the world.

But there are times when I say to my calling, “Look you’ve got me out here on an island…twisting and turning by myself…moving in directions that I hadn’t envisioned…and in ways that are not very comfortable.

And my calling says to me, “Keep going.”

In anger and frustration I respond to my calling, “But this isn’t the way it’s supposed to be. Things are supposed to be easier!” 

And my calling says, “Says who?”

“Says Me” I cry…”This is my life and I should be able to live it any way that I want to!”

“You can” my calling responds. “All you have to do is ignore me.”

Confused…I ask, “So what will happen then?”

But calling says nothing in response.

I cry out in desperation…”Calling…what happens then?”

And still I hear nothing from my calling.

A few moments later, calling returns:

“Don’t worry” calling says. “I’ll never desert you. For as long as you have breath…you have me. But I wanted you to feel what it feels like when you ignore me. That emptiness. That longing for something bigger than yourself. And the desperation that comes from ignoring who you really are…and ignoring why you’re really here.”

“So when will it get easier?” I ask.

And quietly…calling responds “When you let go.”